You Don’t Have To Settle For Second Best!

We knew our son was a gift from God even though his birth was not planned. As a child, he was happy and enjoyed having fun. He was always jovial and full of energy. He was the comedian in the family and liked people, always wanting to be around friends.  

Once our son started high school, he became withdrawn. He began to smoke and soon he began experimenting with marijuana. This became a habit and continued into university and during his working life.  

After a car accident, the situation became worse. He was heavily intoxicated most of the time, was non-compliant, drove under the influence, and became abusive. He started lying and hated us. 

Then severe depression and anxiety set in and he became suicidal. We did what we could to support him, even encouraged him to go to church, which he did eventually, but grudgingly. 

Things were getting bad and we were at our wits end. A family member met with us and recommended we come to their church. We met with the pastor and his wife who offered us support and prayers. We became members of the church and willingly attended. We began to see that this was the only hope. Our son attended with us the next week. 

We prayed earnestly for our son to come back on course and to make better decisions. We could have been bitter and complained, ‘God, where are you? Why is this happening to our son?’ But we kept our eyes on God. We felt His love enveloping us.

From reading and studying the Bible, we realised that we should not allow our minds to focus on our difficulties or troubles. Instead, we should leave our burden with God. We must believe that He is in control. This is reinforced in Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

More than a week after our first church attendance, I took a call on my son’s phone as he was so intoxicated. It was a call from an overseas rehabilitation centre that our son had contacted. He was desperately seeking help. We immediately made arrangements for him to attend this rehabilitation centre. Within a few days he left for the centre. This brought much peace and calm to the home. We felt deep relief after years of watching our son self-destruct.

Our son found the rehabilitation process hard. It took a year before there was noticeable progress. He had a few psychotic challenges and had to be hospitalised, but he continued his treatment. 

We kept strong in our faith, knowing that God will never abandon us. We knew that God was working on our son and He was never going to take His hands off our son or anyone who believes in Him. God’s calling on our lives is irrevocable.

Life is summed up in Ecclesiastes 3:3-4 “There is a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

We don’t realise what inner strength and tenacity we possess until we are faced with pain. Pain exposes the ‘fight’ challenge within us and gives us the fortitude to express subdued abilities. Once we go through this experience, we can rebuild our lives and experience happiness through God’s guidance.

It took another year before our son could function independently, with each new day bringing different challenges. However, there was noticeable change. He does not do drugs or take alcohol anymore and is receptive to professional health care and support.

Nowadays our son is more accepting of us and has realised the pain that he caused us. He understands the effects of the drugs on his mental health and wellbeing and strives to do better each day. He is alive today through the grace and mercy of God.

We don’t know what lies ahead for our son but we believe this verse in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

We trust God who is all knowledgeable and as His followers, we know that He will reveal to us the path we should take to live a better and fulfilling life. 

Sometimes we will not be privy to God’s plan, but He is always good and faithful. Therefore we can rest in Him, knowing that our son is in good hands. He is attending church willingly and studying God’s word. We know that he is being guided each day by God to make good life choices. 

We take courage and strength from 1 John 4:16 NLT “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love.” We serve an amazing God! 

R&R

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